Beware of Visiting an Attorney


It is not at all unusual for ambivalent spouse to seek information from an attorney before actually deciding on getting a divorce. Perhaps the ambivalent partner needs information that will help him or her decide on the impact a divorce will have on have on themselves, the family or the future.
It is important to understand the risk and the benefits of seeking legal information prior to making a decision to divorce. An attorney can simply see their role as being that of an educator or an opportunity to market his or her services. if the attorney is an educator then he or she will help you to understand the legal process involved in getting a divorce and will clarify your vulnerabilities from a legal standpoint.
If the attorney is in marketing mode, then he or she may encourage you to see the divorce as a desirable step in which you will naturally want his or her services. The problem with the attorney acting as a marketing agent is that this approach can interfere with good decision making.
To make a good decision, you must be able to give yourself enough time to drain strong emotions from the process. Beware of an attorney that seems to fuel your anger when you are simply asking for legal Information.
Be cautious if the attorney goes into some depth about the quality of your relationship then suggests that your relationship is doomed. An attorney is not equipped to predict the future of your relationship. This can discourage an effort to try to work on the relationship.
You must also examine your motives for seeing an attorney. Are you using this visit for information or to test your spouse (or yourself)? Is the visit an expression of your anger? Perhaps you want to make a statement to your partner that you are serious, or you want to make a statement that you will not be pushed around in negotiating your relationship.
Ask yourself these three questions before you see an attorney for information about divorce practices:
1. Am I seeking legal advice or the attorney's opinion regarding whether I should divorce?
2. Am I using this visit to make a statement to my partner?
3. Can I listen for information without being swayed by an attorney's sales pitch?

For further inquiries:

Check out Lee Horton, Ph.D., Psychologist, at

Phone: (901) 818- 5450