When something bad happens in life, it's natural to want to blame someone else.
Although there are plenty of ways others can wrong you, sometimes you need to take a deeper look at the situation. Could you be the one who's setting yourself up to get hurt?
One common problem that sabotages people's relationships is high expectations. Keep reading to learn how high expectations can work against you and what you can do to nurture a healthier relationship.
Having High Expectations of a Husband or Wife Can Reinforce Unproductive Gender Roles
Research has shown time and time again that gender roles can be quite harmful to people's identity and self-worth. Most people don't consciously reinforce stereotypical gender roles in their relationships. However, your actions may say otherwise.
Do you expect husbands to bring home the money? Should wives cook, clean, and raise the children? If you try to mold yourselves into outdated roles, you're both limiting yourselves from enjoying other parts of your life and reaching your full potential.
Expectations Can Hurt Your Self-Esteem
Lots of people agree that there's nothing worse than a loved one telling you that they're not mad at you, but they're disappointed. If your expectations are too high, you're setting your partner up to fail and feel ashamed. Relationships that thrive need both partners to nurture each other without negatively affecting each other's self-esteem.
Expectations in Marriage Can Create Unhealthy Habits
If you're on the receiving end of your partner's high expectations, constantly missing the mark can lead to resentment. Partners who have high expectations are more likely to sabotage happiness in the relationship. Learning how to recognize your own shortcomings is challenging, which is why going to couples counseling can help the two of you find common ground in your relationship.
Expectations in Relationships Can Damage Communication Skills
The root of the word 'expectations' is 'expect', and that is something you should try your best to avoid in a mature relationship. Since people aren't mind readers, your partner will never be able to satisfy you if your assumptions are unclear.
This is why learning how to communicate your needs and asking for something concrete will make both you and your partner more fulfilled. The last thing you'd want to do is make your partner feel like they're walking on eggshells around you because they don't know how to please you.
Are Relationship Expectations Sabotaging Your Marriage?
Lowering or eliminating your relationship expectations altogether may feel unnatural at first. However, adopting a flexible and understanding mindset can help bring you closer to your partner and improve your relationship.
For further inquiries:
Check out Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW, at www.relationshipsuite.com
Phone: (917) 273-8836