Finding Common Ground- Parenting Styles


Do you ever feel like you and your partner are not on the same page when it comes to raising your child?

Parenting is all about teamwork, but some couples have a hard time working together because they have different parenting styles. One partner may be relaxed when it comes to rules while the other is stricter and believes in setting strong limits. Most couples can learn to look past their differences, but sometimes this issue can cause contention and arguments in marriages.

Are different parenting styles causing problems in your relationship? Keep reading to learn how you can unite as a team and grow stronger.

Understand Your Parenting Styles

Psychologists have broken down parenting styles into four different categories. Learning which styles you and your partner have will allow you to better understand each other and reach compromises easier.

Reading this guide together can help the two of you figure out each other's unique strengths and weaknesses and come up with a strategy that maximizes both parents' skills.

Try to Establish Rules You Both Can Agree on

Inconsistent parenting can lead to a lot of confusion and even fear if your child doesn't know which behaviors are acceptable and which can lead to punishment. This is why it's crucial to set aside some time with your partner to write a list of rules and limits that they can agree on if your child acts out.

Since you can expect to disagree on some points, both parties have to be prepared to compromise to find a happy middle ground.

Never Undermine Your Partner in Front of Your Child

Any parent can attest to the fact that you can never be prepared for everything. Even if you have an established list of rules and limits, one partner may respond to a situation out of instinct or your child may do something you hadn't discussed before. If your partner doles out a time out or punishment you don't agree with, you need to support them in front of your child and wait until you're alone to express your feelings.

If you argue in front of your child, they will eventually figure out which parent is more sympathetic to their cause. In the future, they'll start testing your boundaries and cause even more trouble.

Consider Going to a Counselor to Resolve Conflicts

No matter how much love and respect you and your partner share, some problems are too big to overcome on your own. Going to a counselor can give the two of you a safe, productive space to share your feelings and learn new ways to parent together. Since counselors have lots of experience, they'll be able to identify and help the two of you empathize, compromise and grow together.

For further inquiries:

Check out Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW, at

Phone: (917) 273-8836