Getting Over an Ex


Breakups can be difficult depending on how serious the relationship was. The mourning process is comprised of several stages: denial, anger and guilt, sadness and despair and acceptance and hope. The process can depend on how long and severe the breakup was. You want to move to the stage of accepting the breakup so you can start building your life and moving on. Healing from a breakup requires a lot of patience, understanding and time.

A major aspect on moving on after a breakup is learning the valuable lessons from the relationship. You want to ask yourself:

  • What kind of relationship did I attract to myself?

  • What kinds of issues did we have?

  • What did I contribute to the relationship both positive and negative?

  • What do I need to own and work on in order to make sure I don't make the same mistakes again?

It's important to keep processing the relationship objectively as you work through the grieving process. To help you move on, you need to make sure you stay connected to the reasons and motivation of the break up as this will keep you centered.

Breakups are an opportunity for self-reflection and discovery. You want to be extremely cognizant about working on your issues and negative dynamics you contributed to the relationship. Work on developing your sense and self as you continue to separate your identity from the relationship with your ex.

Once you are feeling more focused on what you want in a partner and you are aware of the negative patterns you had with your ex, set an intention to attract a new partner. The key is you want to attract a partner and healthy relationship based on lessons learned.

For further inquiries:

Check out Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW, at

Phone: (917) 273-8836