Having Little/ No Sex?


Do you have doubts or worries that your partner has no or little desire for sex? Losing interest in sex is a common problem for most couples.

Contrary to popular belief, according to Barry and Emily McCarthy in Rekindling Desire, research studies (the most important being the "Sex in America Study") find that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men report inhibited sexual desire. Sometime in marriage/relationships more than 50 percent of couples experience inhibited desire or a desire discrepancy. You are not alone. Feeling stigmatized and deficient is of no value. Desire problems are the most frequent complaint of couples seeking therapy

But there are things you can do to rekindle desire in your relationship. When there is a little or no sex in your relationship, follow these tips to learn what could be the cause of this dry spell.

  • Children

Lives change after having children. On average, parents experience a decrease in sexual frequency. Lack of sleep and busy schedules make it difficult to even think about sex.

Studies show that women who have children under the age of 5 are the most likely to report having little interest in sex. New mothers also worry that they are no longer seen as attractive to their partner.

  • You're Suffering From Stress

Your sex life will change if you suffer from high levels of stress. Chronic stress affects your health in many ways, including having sex with your partner.

You could be working long hours, traveling and too tired to be intimate with your partner when you come home. If your busy lifestyle is affecting your sexual relationship, you need to carve out time for intimacy dates or schedule romantic vacations together. This can help you to re-establish the closeness and sexual desire you had with your partner.

  • Prescription Medications

Taking multiple prescription medications can cause sexual dysfunction. There are side effects when you take certain kinds of medication. Think about the medications you're taking to find out if this could be the cause of your loss of sexual desire.

  • Weight Gain

Are you feeling a fluctuation in your weight? A woman's body image is a common cause and contributes to lack of interest in sex. Weigh gain can cause you to feel undesirable and less attractive. This can interfere with your sexual connection with your partner. Keep in mind that there are many reasons for weight gain and you want to make sure you address this problem with a counselor.

  • Too Much Alcohol

Are you drinking too much? Too much alcohol can cause sexual issues. Couples might not be aware that excessive consumption of alcohol could interfere with their sexual relationship.

Final Thoughts

When there is little or no sex in your relationship, it is important to pay close attention to the possible factors causing the problem. Make efforts to schedule Intimacy Dates even if they challenge your schedule. Make them a priority and mark them on your calendar in pen. This is an effective approach to ensure that you will continue to have closeness and intimacy with your partner.

For further inquiries:

Check out Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW, at www.relationshipsuite.com

Phone: (917) 273-8836