How to Know you are Dating a Married Man

09/30/2020

As a single woman, there comes a time when a handsome man approaches you. You have great conversation and he makes you laugh easily. You enjoy his company and want to spend more time with him, so you do! Phone calls, dates, overnights... it seems to be going well. That is until you find out he is married. How you find out doesn't really matter. It could be a phone call from the wife, a mutual friend posting a picture on social media, or a late night stalking session. Point is, you find out and you are devastated. Unfortunately many women have had to deal with the fact that there are some men who do not honor their marriage vows. So how do you protect yourself? These are 5 signs that are not meant to be the decision maker but may have you look deeper into the new guy you are dating.

  1. No late night phone calls

As we get older and have more responsibilities, it makes sense that we go to bed a little earlier to make sure we are prepared for the day. With that being said, few single people have such a schedule with no room for flexibility. Even if you have an early morning, there are days that the conversation is so interesting you stay up an extra hour. If your phone calls only happen on the way to work, throughout the work day and/or on the way home, there is some cause for concern. There could be someone at his home that he doesn't want to hear the sweet talk.

  1. Haven't met friends and/or family

So this may be a big step in the relationship depending on who you are dating. No one is expecting to be introduced to your potential beau's family and friends within the first few weeks. There will eventually be times that he is going to a casual event and as you two are getting closer, you would expect to be invited. With this sign I also have to note that being introduced to the people closest to him may not mean he is not in another serious relationship. While they may have opinions about your guy seeing two people, they are unlikely to address it in front of you.

  1. Spends most of his time at your place

If you have never seen his place or don't even know where he lives there is a reason for that. It is ok that you feel comfortable in your space so you don't mind him coming over but don't you think he would feel the same way in his space. If he has never invited you over or always makes an excuse when the time comes for you to pay him a visit, he may not have a bachelor pad for you to visit.

  1. Date nights are at the same time every week

Schedules change and date nights tend to shift. There is a rare situation where you have a date night at the same time on the same night, every week. Having a standing date may not be an issue but if your suitor is always unavailable during prime dating times (Friday and Saturday night) he may be dating someone else.

  1. He doesn't have any social media or wants to keep it away from you

Social media is a huge part of most people's lives and it is here to stay. Depending on your age you could be on every platform or barely touching the surface with Facebook. Regardless, it is difficult to find someone nowadays that does not have any social media. Most people have some type of connection to those outside of their immediate social circle. It can also be concerning if he is overly protective of his social media. Let's be clear. No one is saying to follow each other after a first date, but if you are seriously dating at some point the social media mystery needs to be unveiled.

There will always be exceptions to the rule but if you see 2 or more of these signals, make sure you are asking the right questions. If your instinct is telling you something is wrong, trust it. When you see red flags, don't discount them. It may not be something as big as marriage but that does not mean there isn't something that needs to be addressed.

For further inquiries:


Check out Eboni Harris, Licensed Relationship Therapist, at eboniharris.com

Phone: (832) 384- 4445