How to Move On


No one will argue that divorce isn't a huge change in someone's life. One minute it's smooth sailing and the next, the winds have picked up and the storms are upon you. So what do you do? You ride out the storm and change course. "I don't do well with change," is something I hear all the time from my clients, but I remind them, it's not the change they don't do well with but their resistance to it. We fight it, we dig our heels in, we resist with every ounce of strength this change that has come upon us like a plague, and thus, our unhappiness is spawned.

Do you ever feel like you're stuck? Nothing is moving in the direction you'd like it to? As a matter of fact, you feel like you are moving backward instead of forward? Your frustration level increases by the day because no matter what you do, nothing is clicking. Again, you're resisting the change in your life.

Have you ever considered that you are in your own way? And if so, how will you deal with this? My answer, change the way you view it. Here are some tips to help you move on by shifting with the tides of life.

Tip #1- Turn the page.

Let go of the past. Recognize that there is nothing back there for you and everything lies ahead. Learn the lesson, forgive yourself and others and turn the page. Don't keep revisiting what was because it only makes moving on harder than it needs to be.

Tip #2- Take control.

Let go of the things that "appear" to be in your way and don't let "time' dictate your life i.e.; when the kids go off to college, when I lose 10 pounds, when I make more money. Don't give "time" so much power. You effect the change in your life.

Tip #3- Set goals.

How can you hit a target you can't see? Moving forward isn't always about big steps. Don't always look at the big picture as it can overwhelm you. Set small, daily goals and not too many. It's not about a lack of time so much as it is a lack of direction, organization and commitment.

Tip #4- Don't get caught up in the emotion of feeling stuck.

This is one of the most important.Refrain how you think about this "season" in your life. Don't let your thoughts dwell on the negative. Don't walk around speaking negatively about your life. Positive thinking and speaking is key to moving on. Remember, what you resist, persists. Sometimes, the best course of action is to just take a breather.

If you believe and feel that you are stuck, then you are. Instead, believe and feel that what you desire is only around the next bend. Live your life with anticipation and see how quickly you accept change and move on.

For further inquiries:

Check out Debbie Martinez, Divorce and co- parenting coach, at

Phone: (305) 984- 5121