How to Reconnect with your Partner


TVs, cell phones and iPads, oh my! Technology has become a staple in most households, and while it is entertaining, it can take away from valuable bonding time. If technology is draining the life out of your relationship, try these four ways to enjoy your relationship more and increase your intimacy immediately!

Have a genuine conversation

You're one another's companion. This means you are there to share in each other's experiences and maintain a friendship. You should be craving time with one another and want to satisfy that craving even if you're very busy people. However, even in the best of relationships, it is easy to slip into a mundane routine especially if you live together. You can become detached from the practice of enjoying one another's company. You might find that even if you are in the same space, you spend most of your time watching television or engulfed in social media. If life is becoming mundane, force yourself out of bad habits by allowing a minimum of five minutes a day to communicate to your lover. You can discuss the highs and lows of your day, random facts you have learned, or details about your life that you have never shared before. And, don't forget to include sexual interests as well. You'd be surprised how 5 minutes of surface conversation can turn into 30 minutes of deep, meaningful dialogue. Doing this regularly will create a safe zone where both of you can be open and honest about many things without fear of being judged or criticized.

Have each other's back

An appreciative and appreciated partner is a happy partner. Happy partners lead to solid partnerships! Listen to your partner. Give positive feedback consistently, but if they just need to vent, let them have a few uninterrupted moments to get things out. Help them with tasks that aren't normally yours especially if you notice that they are struggling to get things done. Be a comfort to them; find out what they need and try to give it to them. Go the extra mile in bed to make sure they can relax afterwards. Partners in healthy, intimate relationships want to view each other as an oasis, a place where, when things are rough, they can go to feel heard, understood and renewed. and live to thrive another day! Make an effort to be that oasis for your lover and watch the distance between you two shrink.

Touch each other

Affection is an important part of intimacy. Touch your partner as much as possible. Give massages, foot rubs, hugs, kisses and orgasms. Surprise each other with passionate kisses; reach out for soft touches while focusing on other activities. Practice physical intimacy at least four seconds a day, but if you can, touch much more often than that. Pleasing one another will reduce stress and give you both an exciting reason to rush home.

Ask for what you want

Sometimes your partner may be caught up in the day to day and forget to attend to your needs. When that happens, instead of withdrawing, try to fill the void by lovingly asking for what you want. There is nothing wrong with relating to your lover that you need them to be kind, a little extra attentive or sexually assertive. An increase in the number of gentle requests you make can lead to a more satisfying relationship. Just remember to practice good communication skills when making the requests and allow them the space to do the same, and you will see vast improvements in your relationship!

Remember, a relationship takes effort. Sure, it's a partnership, but it's also a companionship which makes intimate moments vital to its survival. Romance doesn't have to die; like every other partner and companionship, it takes building together to have something solid and intimate. Don't look for it to come easy and don't be afraid to do the work.

For further inquiries:

Check out Eboni Harris, Licensed Relationship Therapist, at

Phone: (832) 384- 4445