Long Distance Love


Technology connects people from all over the world. With all of this access to each other, there is no surprise that there is an upsurge of long distance relationships. It seems that couples living in different cities, states and sometimes even different countries are becoming more popular than ever. Although long distance relationships are not a new concept, research shows that these relationships can sometimes be healthier than those where the couples live in the same city or the same home. If you are looking to have a successful long distance relationship, focusing your energy on these areas will help.

  1. A Strong Foundation
    There are 2 types of long distance relationships. The first type begins with both people living in the same city until an event causes one or both of the partners to move apart. This can be school beginning or ending, new career opportunities or family issues. The second type is the relationship that has always been long distance. These couples could have met at a work conference, while visiting friends or family or via the internet. Regardless of how these relationships begin it is necessary they have a strong foundation. This means taking the time to really get to know your potential partner. This is much easier in the first scenario because you are able to spend physical time with the other person. In the relationship that started at a distance it takes a little more effort to build the connection. In order for any relationship to move forward, both parties have to be willing to invest time and effort to get to know the other person. This is the opportunity to find out if you are truly compatible and complement each other's personalities.

  2. Communication and Trust
    These are some of the most important aspects of any relationship. When couples live in separate cities these 2 factors can sometimes be all they have. It is important they speak regularly to each other and have open communication to maintain strong connection. Thankfully, technology makes it easier to stay in contact. Whether it is via email, text, phone conversation or video chatting, couples can maintain their communication easier than ever. Trust is also necessary as couples are spending weeks and sometimes months apart. When couples in the same city have an argument or some doubt they are usually able to resolve it quickly with a face to face conversation. These tend to be more comforting than a phone call because it is easier to read body language and tone. In long distance relationships couples have to be confident that their partners are being genuine and truthful in all communication.

  3. What's the End Game?
    Normally, there is an expectation that at some point the long distance relationship will end. Now this isn't to say that there aren't cases where people were able to maintain long distance relationships indefinitely but couples will usually have to negotiate the end game. This is the decision on who moves to the other person's city or if both will move to a new city. Although it may seem a little hasty, it might be a good decision to discuss this earlier in the relationship. It is important to know early how willing each person is to move and set up clear expectations of how long you would like to maintain a long distance relationship.

  4. Don't forget about intimacy
    When dating long distance, forgetting about intimacy can be detrimental. This doesn't mean that phone sex is mandatory, although it probably wouldn't hurt. This just means that the couple has to find new and creative ways to build their connection. Along with having consistent communication couples will need to create moments of vulnerability. This means playing games, being flirty and yes, talking about sex. While it may be easy to show and create intimacy while together the challenge becomes continuing it when apart.

These steps do not guarantee a successful long distance relationship. There are many factors that go into any relationship and affect whether or not it lasts. However, by paying attention to these important aspects you can give yourself the best chance at figuring out if this is meant to be a long term relationship.

For further inquiries:

Check out Eboni Harris, Licensed Relationship Therapist, at eboniharris.com

Phone: (832) 384- 4445