Marriage Performance Review


Bosses are commonly criticized by their subordinates for only giving feedback when something is wrong. The workers want a fair evaluation of their strengths as well as the areas in need of improvement before things go terribly wrong.

Are you and your partner guilty of doing the same thing in your marriage? Many couples don't stop and evaluate their relationship until something is terribly wrong and emotions are high. Do you and your partner ask, "How are we doing as a couple?" on a regular basis?

I frequently hear partners say, "I had no idea that my spouse felt that way, or I didn't know he was unhappy about that." This is a symptom of a lack of feedback in the relationship. You can prevent more serious problems by taking a few minutes to evaluate your relationship on a regular basis.

Here are a few questions that can get you started:

  1. How would you describe the amount of time you have together to emotionally, physically and sexually connect ? Does your time spent together properly reflect the importance of your relationship?
  2. How would you rate the quality of the time you spend together? Is this time rewarding for each of you? Do you feel that your needs are being met?
  3. Do you discuss the future? Do you feel as though you are working together to meet these goals?
  4. Do you feel valued by your partner? Does your mate help you become a better person or do you feel diminished in the relationship?
  5. Do you have a physical connection with enough affection?
  6. Do you have a sexual connection? Are the majority of your sexual encounters mutually enjoyable?
  7. Do you feel like a team when making financial, parenting, and other important decisions?
  8. What is most pleasing about your relationship?
  9. What one thing would you change about your relationship?
  10. If you had it to do over, would you marry your partner or choose another person?

Think of other questions that may be good for evaluating your marriage/relationship.

For further inquiries:

Check out Lee Horton, Ph.D., Psychologist, at

Phone: (901) 818- 5450