Rediscovering Passion


Passion is a reward, not a right. Do you complain about the lack of passion in your relationship as though you have nothing to do with its absence? Do you think that the passion you once had in your relationship would continue naturally? Do you let your partner know that you are disappointed in the lack of passion in your relationship by delivering complaints?
It is common for couples to lose passion in their relationship, but passion does not have to be gone from the relationship. Relationships can recover passion, but it takes effort to maintain that connection. Passion becomes the reward for a deeper connection, a connection that must be nurtured.
Passion requires teamwork. Passion is the byproduct of a couple's effort to connect on a deeper level. This means that each is contributing to the emotional, physical and sexual connection. Do you play together, discuss your personal struggles and flirt with each other? If you only connect through one channel, your connection will become less intense. Relationships need to be fed through multiple avenues - sharing feelings, mutually enjoyable activities, and sexual connection - all on a regular basis.
Passion can be a byproduct of conflict. Couples that avoid tension ignore differences to keep tension low. This limits each's voice in the relationship which, in turn, limits intimacy. When couples avoid tension, they invite a superficial connection. Such couples often describe their relationship as "living as roommates." Roommates are not passionate.
By confronting their differing views, feelings and desires, couples give voice to their deeper selves. Resolving these differences leads to feeling equal and accepted. Equality says, "You are valuable to me." Acceptance says, "I love you for yourself." These messages trigger passion.
Passion can be fleeting. Passion is a more uncommon expression than a common one. It is not something you should expect, but is a surprise, particularly when it arises between both of you at once. Typically, passion may be held more in one partner than in the other.
Passion can be actively avoided if it is only associated with sex. Instead, passion must be expressed to in a flexible manner. Passion can be expressed through play, laughter, competition, as well as sex.
Find many paths and expressions for passion in your relationship.

For further inquiries:

Check out Lee Horton, Ph.D., Psychologist, at

Phone: (901) 818- 5450