Resolutions are Okay. But Priorities are Better!


New Year's is a great time to make resolutions, those annual goals about things
you will do or things you will simply do differently. They're fun to share and can be powerful in shaping the picture of who you want to be. Envision yourself at New Year's 2016 telling your friends all the things you did or changed in 2015 and you've got a good idea of where to start. And celebrate this first, easy step.

Now let me ask you, what are you going to take off your plate, hmm?

You are already very busy, right? So how exactly do you plan to accomplish these new resolutions in addition to everything you're already doing? When you consider that the days aren't getting longer, perhaps letting go of some busyness in your life is a bit more difficult than you might want to admit.

I suggest you flip it.

Flip your thinking to focus on prioritizing your life in 2015 and then seeing what seems to fit. Resolving to prioritize better will help you be more successful at achieving the resolutions that are most important to you. Resolutions are okay... but priorities are better!

What are your priorities?

So often we can put ourselves on hold, thinking, WHEN "x" happens, THEN, I will feel or allow "y". The lesson to take into this New Year is that there is no WHEN or THEN!

Prioritize NOW what's truly important to you today and every day and live the life you want today- not tomorrow, not next year, not when you complete your 5- or 10-year plan. It starts TODAY.

As a woman, wife and mother I know what it's like when life gets too over-scheduled. I also know what it's like to allow ourselves to slip into that low priority slot. It's easy for us to skip the gym or ignore a book we want to read. It's even easier for us to pass on an afternoon with our girlfriends. Our priorities can shift from us to others very quickly.

Yet when you are stretched too thin and overwhelmed, you become more reactive to all the noise around you. In this reactive place, you typically get triggered by the littlest things - like an appointment who is late or your kids spilling food on the floor - and respond in the worst way, not the best part of yourself at all. When hijacked by what I call a "tipping point" of your emotions, all rational thinking stops, goes off-line. This old, emotional/reptilian part of your brain is hard-wired for survival and will do this every time you're exhausted.

If you don't take care of yourself and instead allow your internal gas tank to run on empty or plow through your days with one foot simultaneously on the gas and the other on the brake, you will be more reactive and have less to give.

"There's a reason they say on an airplane, in case of emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself before your children. You have to take care of you, to be able to take care of your children, your partner, your friends and your community."

So this year I want you to think about how you will prioritize your life in 2015? How will you prioritize your self-care?

Let's start by ranking what's most important to you. I use the following four main categories when organizing my priorities: (You may have more, so feel free to use the ones that apply to you.)

  1. Spiritual Well Being
  2. Self-Care
  3. Intimate Relationship with Spouse or Significant Other
  4. Children / Family Relationships

It's time to discover that if you've been putting yourself at the bottom of your list, in reality, you are not able to give as much.

"Self-care isn't SELFISH"

Let me share with you my priorities for 2015...I made some changes in my life to create a healthier lifestyle for myself. No, I'm not on a diet, and I'm not going gluten-free. I'm talking about a living a life of moderation that includes laughing, dancing, sharing, playing, creating, dreaming, loving and living life in THIS MOMENT, the only one we ever truly have- in a way that FEELS GOOD.

By prioritizing your own well being you will have so much more positive energy and resilience to share with all of the important people in your life. You will be able to consciously approach your other priorities rather than just react to them. And in this way, will be more likely to accomplish the most important goals you have for the year.

Keep in mind that life's not perfectly good all the time... that wouldn't be realistic, because chaos and change are part of life. That's the deal. To paraphrase the Buddhist saying, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice." But having a reserve of personal resilience will help you whether life's shifts and changes with more grace.

I'm choosing to live consciously in my life and my relationships. I am really excited for all that 2015 is going to bring and to share it with you. Remember resolutions are okay...but priorities are better.

Are you ready to join me on this journey? Anything can happen if you let it! The real question is, how much will you allow?

For further inquiries:

Check out Megan Fleming, Psychologist, at

Phone: (646) 528- 5354