Tips for Dealing with In- Laws


When you said your vows for better or worse you not only committed yourself to your spouse, you committed yourself to your spouse's family as well. It's a package deal whether you like it or not. And now you've found yourself questioning the co-existence between you and your in-laws.

Luckily, we're here to help you. Continue reading below for several tips for dealing with the in-laws you don't like!

1. Identify the In-Law Issue

The first thing you'll need to do is identify the in-law issue. This means really getting down to the bottom of it. What is it about the in-laws that you don't like?

Are there certain values that they have that differ from yours such as political or religious views? Do you not agree with the way they talk to or treat your spouse? Spend time really thinking about what it is about the in-laws that bothers you.

Once you determine what the main issue is, it's much easier to find a solution.

2. Ensure Your Partner Has Your Back

In any case, ensure your partner has your back. You two are a team now and it's important that you're not trying to battle issues with your in-laws on your own. Your partner's support is going to play a huge role in how you deal with the issue.

Keep in mind that it's important not to disrespect your in-laws or your partner while having this conversation. Try not to make it seem like you're opposing them. Rather, focus on a healthy conversation about what is making it difficult for you can how your spouse and you can work on it together.

3. Set Boundaries and Limits

Set family boundaries and limits with your spouse for everyone to follow. Keep your in-laws aware of all these boundaries. For example, if you don't want your children having a certain type of drink such as soda after a certain time of day, be sure to let your in-laws know about these rules.

All boundaries that are set in stone should be told to all in-laws. Letting them know the rules ahead of time is a great way to ensure they're followed.

4. Communicate With Them Directly

Whenever there is an issue, be sure to communicate with your in-laws directly. Don't use a third party for communication purposes and always remain open about anything that's bothering you and be open to understanding what might be bothering them. For example, if an in-law did something that hurt your feelings, communicate those feelings with that in-law directly.

This also gives them the opportunity to let you know what might be bothering them or to apologize. When something does come up, you also want to address it as soon as possible to relieve tension. In many cases, it's a simple misunderstanding.

Dealing With Your In-Laws Doesn't Have to be Difficult!

Dealing with your in-laws isn't your favorite thing to do, but it doesn't have to be difficult. Keep these 4 tips in mind when facing in-law problems and you'll be keeping the peace in no time!

For further inquiries:

Check out Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW, at

Phone: (917) 273-8836