What if He Doesn't Want to go Downtown?


When it comes to sex, most women think men are down for anything but that may not be the case. Men have just as many concerns and preferences as women. This means that, shockingly, all men are not the same. When it comes to oral sex, some men just don't do it while others prefer not to. If you are in either of these situations, here are some tips to help open your man's mind.

  • Allow him to explore and ask questions.

When discussing sexual interests and desires, couples should work hard to create a no judgement zone. This means that no topic is off limits and while the answer may still be no, there should be an open discussion. The guy in your life may have some questions that he hasn't felt comfortable asking. Don't shut him down or belittle him for being curious. It's a good sign. If you want to take it a step further, let him explore your downstairs area. While the penis is visible to see, there is much mystery surrounding the vagina. If you feel comfortable, let your man take a tour beyond the labia. Encourage him to touch, smell and even breathe some cool and warm breaths and watch how your body reacts. You may be surprised at how being down there may encourage him to just go for it.

  • Explain how excited it would make you.

Sometimes, men just don't understand how much women enjoy cunnilingus. Many guys (and gals) who choose not to participate in oral sex don't enjoy it being performed on them very much. Take it upon yourself to share why you would like him to do it and make sure you focus on why it is important that you guys do it together. Few men want to hear how great oral sex is when your past lovers have done it. You may also want to share the fact that most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation. As you are sharing this desire, go into details. Have a little phone sex, or face to face talk, and share every detail of what you would want him to do while he was down there. A little direction can go a long way in helping someone with anxiety about not doing it right.

  • Let him wash your vagina.

Some men's lack of desire may just boil down to hygiene. There may be a lack of understanding or their knowledge may only be that pee and blood comes from that area. Explain to him how you wash yourself and allow him the opportunity to participate. This can mean foreplay starts in the tub or shower. Knowledge and participation may be the key to unlock his hesitation.

For further inquiries:

Check out Eboni Harris, Licensed Relationship Therapist, at eboniharris.com

Phone: (832) 384- 4445